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Self-Help Isn't Selfish

Friends, you might know I'm a podcast fanatic. Chances are, if you're reading this, I've probably sent you a link to a show or episode I thought you'd like. One of my favorites is Oprah's SuperSoul Conversations. For the past few weeks she's been doing a chapter-by-chapter tutorial with Eckhart Tolle on his book A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. If you haven't already, I would highly recommend reading it; however, the material can be heavy. What's great about the podcast is Oprah and Eckhart break down important and sometimes difficult-to-process ideas into easily digestible wisdom nuggets. 


At the same time I just finished Martha Beck's Steering by Starlight: Find Your Right Life No Matter What. Based on these activities, it could appear that I'm struggling to find my life's purpose, but I'm actually good. Still, it's important to make sure your tools are sharp so I'm sharpening mine.

One of the exercises in St…
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You'll Never Be Enough

Raise your hand if you have had this experience: You hear a sentiment expressed 37 different ways and then suddenly when you hear it expressed the 38th way, the light of 1000 suns shines right on your brain and you Get. It. like you never did before.

Sometimes when it happens, you look back at the other 37 things like ohhhhhhh, yeah, that makes so much sense. But damn, that 38th thing ... you feel it in your guts as my friend says.

This happened to me the other day while listening to the Earn Your Happy podcast. In this episode the host, Lori Harder, also author of A Tribe Called Bliss, which I just ordered btw, says, "You'll never be enough for who you're not enough for." Read it again if you want, I'll wait. I had to pause the podcast, pull over, write it down, listen to her say it five more times, scream...you get the idea.

I have wrestled with this concept in some capacity for most of my life. I've been a good girl and a people-pleaser. I have chased acc…

Red Lipstick and Leopard Shoes

A month or so ago my friend and LOBL partner Melissa shared about a few of her favorite things. I loved this post because:
 1) The Sound of Music is one of my all-time favorite movies.
 2) Thinking about your favorite things is a huge mood booster.

In counseling, my therapist walked me through exercises to find a safe calm place inside my mind to go when feeling overwhelmed. The goal is to find peace, comfort, belonging, acceptance, worthiness, etc. within us so we don't need to chase it down from others. I always go to my favorite place: a beautiful little island near Key Largo we visit with our best friends. The first time we went was a magical experience: Dolphins played around the boat splashing in the aquamarine water, and I squealed, "This can't be real!" I tried to capture every single detail so I could go back there in my mind over and over. Any time someone asks me where I want to go, it's here. Always here.

I often write about these things, my favorite…

Reflections on 2018

The week between Christmas and New Year's is one of my favorite times of year. My husband and two out of three kids are home. We spend lots of time eating, reading, playing games and watching movies--some of my favorite activities. It's also a great time for reflection. Yesterday, I read through my journal entries from earlier in the year as a way of checking in with myself. It seemed like a good idea to document what I did well and what I could have done better in 2018.

I'm a give-me-the-bad-news-first kind of girl, so here are some areas where I didn't excel:


Body: I could have eaten healthier and exercised more. I always feel better when these two things are part of my daily routine so I plan to do better at that in 2019.
Mind: I spent a lot of time feeling let down over rejection letters and thinking that I should scrap the whole damn idea of writing a book.
Spirit: I didn't make time for meditation every day, and I really need to do that.

And here's what …

MidLife

A L M O S T everything I write about comes from something I heard on a podcast or read in a book or heard from someone smarter than myself. Since, I read a lot of books and listen to a lot of podcasts and chat with several smart people, I don't always remember the exact source of the information. Plus, many of my favorite authors and podcasters share similar information in different ways so it could be a conglomeration of sources. 

All that to say, I heard an interesting notion this morning, but I can't remember where. Here it is: The tools you use to get through the first half of life are not the same tools you'll need to get through the second half. If you're not approaching the second half of your life, this may not feel as mind-blowing for you as it did for me. The thing is, my dad lived to be 94, and my mom is 87. Genetics give me a good 40+ years to go, as I wade into the moderately warm waters of midlife. This made me think about how some tools I acquired serve…

Data and Other Stories

If you've spent any time with us {here or in real life} you already know that my husband and I are pretty different. While nearly 30 years of being in a relationship has smoothed out the rougher edges, we see things through unique lenses. Sometimes this is really aggravating. Occasionally, when I'm operating from my best and highest self, I learn things from him and apply them to problem areas. Since my husband doesn't fancy himself a guru, he generally finds it humorous when his straightforward words become my light bulb moments.

Here's an example. A few weeks ago while describing some work issue (he's the director of quality for a glass recycling company), he mentioned conducting various tests to figure out an issue. "What do you think it is?" I asked. He said, "I don't have to think about it; I just have to follow the story the data tells." We were in different states at the time, so he didn't see me fall out of my chair. Two weeks l…

Do What You Want.

Through my mid-20s, Happy by Clinique was my signature scent. When I got pregnant with P, my body chemistry changed and all of a sudden, the scent of Happy made me nauseated and gave me a headache. Markedly unhappy. I stopped wearing it. It wasn't a bad perfume, but it wasn't right for me.

Thinking about this, I had a light bulb moment. Sometimes people (really good people) just aren't our people. Maybe our energy and theirs don't mesh. That's okay. We don't have to be friends with everyone. We don't even have to have great relationships--or any--with people who share our DNA. Let me drop a truth bomb on you: You alone are responsible for your mental health, and if that means removing people from your life: Remove. Those. People. From. Your. Life. You don't need anyone's permission to safeguard your sanity. Don't give your energy away to people who aren't helping you reach your highest good. Wish them well and let them go. And, if someone h…