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21 Days: Day 5

Well, my friends, I might in fact be addicted to coffee. I had two cups this morning. But, I'm okay with that. Sick of me talking about coffee? I know, right? But I'm all freaking jacked up on the caffeine, man! This is a lot like when I quit smoking and then talked ad nauseum about quitting smoking. I was gonna link one post, but when I searched "quitting smoking" on my blog about 10 posts came up. Like I said, AD NAUSEUM. Interested in quitting smoking or reading about someone who quit/started/quit/started/ you go. It has been almost 2 1/2 years since I quit the last time, by the way, so I consider myself an official ex-smoker, not that I'd ever get complacent with that.

1. Shockingly, school was canceled again today. My sweet fasting sister text me this morning and said, "How the heck are we supposed to make it through three snow days without coffee?" I took a deep inhalation of the creamy delicious cup of salvation in my hand and fessed up that I had raised my white flag. But I was up and at 'em today, counted the heck out of some blessings, did yoga, showered and dressed (WITH makeup on) by 9:30 a.m. I mention this simply because it is a huge feat for me to exercise, shower, and put real clothes on in the morning. Normally I rock gym clothes--whether or not I exercise--and no makeup til mid afternoon. This is a lot. I was super caffeinated--and grateful.

2. much today. So. Much. Stuff. I was happy, productive, so "Oh what a beautiful morning, Oh what a beautiful day! I've got a beautiful feeeeeeeling Everything's going my way!" You know, from Oklahoma? Show tunes. Caffeine. Rehab, might be next. Anyhooooo, I have this awesome angel friend who just happens to be a psychiatrist--and a pretty good one according to my gut and also his freaking world-class credentials. We don't know each other except through one meeting, some mutual friend/relatives and correspondence via writing--by hand and email. He is a very dear kind person. Also probably a good guy to have on your side should you need an expert witness... not that I would. This morning he sent me an article about the benefits of coffee with a sweet note; the subject line read: "Be Kind to Yourself." You know, in a great big world of people and places and random inner-connectedness, the universe brought me this kind person, who happens to be a mental health professional. Add to that: In two days, two different friends shared with me some pretty freaking soul-crushing shit that was going on in their lives. I love these women like they're part of me, so to listen to them, hear the aching and questioning in their quavering voices. And you know what I do? Nothing. Listen. Love them. Cry with them. Hold their hands. But that's enough. That helps. But I feel like, What More Can I Do??? And today, in the midst of my secretly kinda beating myself up for drinking coffee ... I mean, a little bit, in a trying-too-hard-to-seem-okay way that trained mental health professionals see through and send you a little note that says, "Be Kind to Yourself." Phew. Okay. Thank. YOU. That's really it though; isn't it? Be kind to yourself. Be kind to other people.  Namaste.

3. I have a really perfect note to write today. To a person I have never ever thanked for how much a person she gave birth to changed my life.

Today was my absolute best day this week. Being around people who really love you...being encouraged by people who really love you...being able to encourage and love's just so amazing. How are you guys doing? If you need encouraged, email me, call me, text me. Thanks for being with me on this journey!! I love you all.



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