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Showing posts from January, 2018

What's Saving Your Life Right Now?

I am always always always trying to be more present. Look at my kids while they talk about their days instead of calling over my shoulder, "I'm listening; I promise!" while I unload the dishwasher or prep dinner. Enjoy the people I'm with instead of scrolling through social media to see what other people are doing. Sometimes I do pretty well. Other times I don't.

One of my favorite podcasters, Emily P. Freeman (The Next Right Thing) talks about paying attention to how our feeds affect us in "Ignore With Intention." Often we avoid accounts when posts anger or depress us, but sometimes, we need to give ourselves permission to unfollow people with great content if that content makes us feel discontent. 
For example, if you're trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant, you might want to avoid a pregnant acquaintance's beautifully curated IG feed that is all bump and nursery pics. Not because you don't love her. Not because you aren't thrilled fo…

Lighten Up, Buttercup

One of my goals for 2018 is to relax, go with the flow more and try to steer the boat less. In that spirit, I've read and listened to a lot about the enneagram in the last few days--my type, Brad's type, my kids' types, and all my 2 friends--to understand people better, improve relationships, and cultivate a happier and more lighthearted environment in which to thrive.

This is a shift, as--shocker--I'm not always a super lighthearted person. I can be serious, dark, and moody, especially this time of the year. Brad used to tell me frequently to "Lighten up" when we were first married. I freaked the fuck out every time. He reacted in shock: "I don't see how you don't see what I see, which is that you really need to lighten up." I smashed shit. He remained baffled. Eventually, he dropped that phrase from his vocabulary, and our level of happiness skyrocketed.
I see things this way.
You see things that way.
If you saw things my way, the world wo…

What's Your Type?

You all know how much I love personality tests. I read, write, and talk about them all the time. True story: I have a slowly growing note in Google Keep with all my people's types. It grows slowly because sometimes, my gentle, "Hey would you take this test please" pleas are met with resistance, eye-rolling, and occasional disdain. Not from two of my closest friends who are 2's though; they are ON IT, and I love them for always indulging me.

Lately, the enneagram keeps coming into my path, so I'm paying attention. I have not studied it much because there is SO MUCH INFORMATION it feels overwhelming. Some time ago, I'd done a test and recall my type was between 2 and 4, the helper and the individualist/romantic. I've listened and read enough to agree with these types. I like to help people...my love language is acts of service--I show love by doing--but I don't need or even really like to be needed. In fact, I immediately start backing away from needy p…