Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Warning: This Post Contains Several Uses of the F Word

Life is hectic when you have multiple children involved in activities. It's more hectic when only one parent is available to take them to their activities. I do my best to be at each child's events, but it's just me. This is life for a single parent. This is also the life for a person whose spouse travels. And during the months of March through May, when I run from dance to baseball to dance to baseball...and back to dance, it wears me out a bit.

I juggle ever-changing schedules. Is the game home or away? Is it knots or princess buns? Is it at the school or the park? Where am I supposed to glue these gems? Are you JV or Varsity? What color tights? What kind of glue? What. The. Fuck?!

It's just a little vent. I gotta get this stuff out of my head. 

So, here's the thing: My husband travels for work. Yes, every week. Yes, he's gone this week too. He's gone E-VE-RY week. Next week? He'll be gone then too. It's not a phase his job was going through; it's his job. No, he's not looking for another job. No, his job is not going to change so he doesn't have to travel. No, it doesn't make me crazy. Sometimes it makes life challenging since there is one me and two non-driving children. But in the meantime...

Here are a few suggestions for those who interact with a person whose spouse travels, based on my experiences:

  1. If you would hate your spouse traveling for work, then I'd recommend your spouse avoids getting a job that requires travel. Please don't repeatedly tell us, "Oh, I would HATE it if my husband traveled." Seriously. We get it. 
  2. Please don't give your friends books about a woman whose husband travels for work and has a secret family in another state. And then claim ignorance. That's 50 different kinds of fucked up.
  3. Don't suggest that your friend's husband might be unfaithful or that she might be naive. I trust my husband and rarely entertain the thought of him banging waitresses; thank you for asking. I know...you wouldn't like it if your husband traveled.
  4. No, I am not tempted to have an affair. I'm too busy remembering which bun and what field the glue and dinner, AND I'm completely in love with my husband.
  5. Please don't get mad when we won't make plans on the weekend; it is the only family time we have.
  6. No our marriage hasn't suffered, but again thanks for your concern.

I love my husband. I appreciate everything he does for our family, and he appreciates everything I do as well. Our situation is not that unique, but it's unique to us, and we're always working to make it better. 

Oh, and to the wonderful, amazing people, I'm blessed to call my tribe: Thank you for offering to pick up or drop off one of my kids. Thank you for accommodating my M-Thurs. day dates. Thank you for inviting Lily over so Brad and I can have a real date. Thank you for not feeling sorry for me. Thank you for sometimes suggesting it would be nice if your husband traveled occasionally. Thank you for saying, "What can I do?" and really meaning it. Thanks for letting me vent. Thank you for understanding that sometimes I'm trying so hard not to let any bit of our life slip through the cracks that I might forget to text you back or answer your question or ask about what is going on in your life. It doesn't mean I'm mad at you; I'm just at full capacity.

If you've been through a similar situation and have tips, by all means, I'd love to hear them. But save your sad faces and pity for someone else. And if you know someone whose spouse travels for work, please, please, please, please, please...don't do any of the dickish things I've mentioned. 



2 comments:

  1. Why go out for hamburger when you've got steak at home?

    ReplyDelete