Skip to main content

Being Brave

I've heard this said a lot of different ways, but this seems to fit me best. I'm trying to be okay with things being good, okay even, and not trying to make them perfect all the time. Like, the time I freaked out on the day after Thanksgiving because we weren't all going to be able to go together to get a Christmas tree, so I tainted a GOOD experience because it wasn't going to be perfect.

I don't want to do that anymore.

Additionally, I have a million and a half projects pinned that go uncompleted because they can't be ... perfect. So, I'm trying to make a couple good ones. Even if they're just kind of good, that's really better than just being a passing thought I never acted on.

And then there's writing. I can find 8 1/2 million reasons not to write or if I do write, I have 927 million reasons not to share it. Most of those reasons are......."it sucks," "no one will relate," "this is self-indulgent." It's a lot of defeatist drivel.

I listened to a TedTalk (linked if you wanna listen; it's fabulous) about how hesitant women are to try if we aren't certain that we're going to succeed. The speaker said that we should stop teaching our daughters to be perfect and start teaching them to be brave.

So, I'm going to be really brave and move forward with a project that's been on my heart for awhile. And do you know what I'm most afraid of? Failing. Embarrassing myself. People talking bad about me. I hear my group therapy facilitator saying, "So what would happen if they did?" And do you know what would happen? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I know who I am. And all of you who read this? You know who I am too. I am flawed, imperfect and a hot mess lots of days. I'm a work in progress. However, I am also kind, compassionate, loving and empathetic--I really want to write empathic, but it provokes the red squiggly line which makes my skin prickle because I'm such a rule follower.

Whether I succeed, fail or face criticism, I'll at least be able to say I used my unique gifts to contribute positively to humanity one kind word at a time. Do you want to do something, but fear is holding you back? Please share. We can be brave together!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Did I Love Him Enough?

I just started reading a new book. It's called Weight Loss for People Who Feel Too Much by Colette Baron-Reid, who I discovered on my current favorite podcast: This is Fifty With Sheri and Nancy. It is blowing my mind and showing me that some of the extra pounds I'm carrying don't even belong to me. Seriously. This is yours, this is his, this is hers, and oh wait, THAT? That belongs to a person who isn't even part of my life anymore! Great. Take your shit back.

More on that later. But, listen to the podcast. Seriously, you will love it!

Anyway, while in this super zen, grown-up, boundary-setting, higher self head space, I need to tackle an issue I've been avoiding for about 18 years but really strongly avoiding for the last 6 months. My son is growing up. He graduates from high school on Sunday, and in a few months, he's moving to Columbus to attend THE Ohio State University.

Can I tell you a secret? I used to LOVE everything about THE Ohio State University, bu…

Why Didn't I Report It?

When I was 17, I went with friends to a party at a boy's house from another school. I drank too much and passed out. I don't remember much about the incident, but I woke up with my friend screaming at a boy, pulling me up and dragging me to the car. She told me that she came looking for me and found me passed out. The boy had his penis in my face. I don't remember it. Thankfully.

I never told my parents who would have said, "How stupid could you be? You shouldn't have put yourself in that position." They would not have said, "No one should put his penis in your face without your consent."

A few months ago, I saw a picture of that boy on social media. He's a man now. With a beautiful family. He probably doesn't remember that night. I wondered: What might have happened if my friend didn't walk in and tell him to get his dick out of my face? Were there were other girls whose friends didn't come looking for them? Did they ever tell anyone…

Before and After

We all have defining moments...instances when something happens--good or bad--and you know from that point forward you'll measure your life in terms of before and after that event. Of course there are sometimes more than one, but there is nearly always one.

For me, it was my brother's death. February 5, 1989. There have been others. A dear friend's death in 1992. Another brother died in 1997. My dad died in 2011. But February 5, that was the one for me.

I started to think of and look at things in terms of before Chris died and after.

Before Chris died, I believed in magic. In God. In miracles. After, I believed that you should never let yourself get too comfortable or trust happiness because it would be ripped away from you.

Before Chris died, I often felt special and love and cherished. For too long after, I felt pretty worthless.

Before Chris died, I believed that I was brave and strong. After he died, I felt weak and afraid when I needed to be brave and strong.

Before …