Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Pro-Choice

A lot of energy is focused on what women wear. People have very strong opinions about what is or is not appropriate for certain body shapes or ages. I cut my hair off at 30 because my mom told me it was inappropriate for women over 30 to have long hair. For real. It's since grown back, and I have no plans for another age or shame-based shearing. I don't care what other people wear or what people think of what I wear. Still...

Awhile back a woman took to the internet saying that "she wasn't judging anyone else,"--BUT, there's always a but (butt), right??--she wasn't going to wear leggings or yoga pants anymore because her husband told her he had a hard time not looking at women in yoga pants. I believe she might have also claimed Jesus' involvement. Okay, if my husband told me that, I'd think he needed to keep his eyes in his own business not that I needed to wear looser pants so that other women's husbands weren't tempted to look at my ass. Maybe that's just me.

Let me address one little thing: While yoga pants, leggings and other articles of women's apparel are hotly debated, men walk around in speedos, and no one blinks. Seriously? Men are distracted by the curve of a woman's butt, but everyone can ignore the outline of a penis and testicles? Mind. Blown.

In all honesty, I couldn't care less about this debate. I will wear leggings all day every day. However, it came to my attention that Lakeview Middle School recently instituted a "No Leggings" rule. My little peanut, who will attend this school next year, is distraught because her wardrobe is 98% leggings.

I'm not sure how to approach this.

I am not advocating clothing anarchy. Dress codes certainly serve a purpose, and boys and girls alike should dress appropriately for school. But before someone jumps down my throat, let me say this: If my son cannot concentrate on math because a girl in his class is wearing yoga pants, that is HIS problem. Not hers.

Can you say rape culture?

Before I went to public school in 8th grade, my dad gave me a rather unconventional birds and bees talk. Basically, he told me all kinds of different lines boys would use to try to coerce me into sex. He then pointed out that each and every line was bullshit. He said, "Boys CAN control themselves. Don't let them convince you that they can't. It's a choice."

I have explained to my daughters and my son that our bodies are our personal property as are other people's. What you wear is your business. And what other people wear is theirs. You can never touch someone without their permission, and no one should ever touch you without yours. If I wear a short skirt, it is because I chose to wear a short skirt. If a man looks at me wearing a short skirt, it is because he chose to look at me wearing a short skirt. If my husband looks at woman in yoga pants, he chose to. The woman in yoga pants didn't make him do it. It's a choice. It's a choice. It's. A. Choice.

I promise you, if I see a man in a speedo, I'll choose to look away.

Unfortunately, circling back to my point, now, my teeny girl doesn't have a choice. She can't wear what is most comfortable to her because someone in a position of authority decided that girls (even teeny ones) wearing leggings are inappropriate. That kinda infuriates me. In fact, this whole demonization of women's clothing seems to be a smoke screen preventing genuine issues from being addressed in schools and in life. How about if we actually start raising our children to be kind, considerate and compassionate adults rather than finding lame excuses for why they're not?

One of my girlfriends tells her son, "It's your job to be kind and help people." She is right, and her son is a darling child, who I'm confident will grow up to be a kind and compassionate man. What if we took that approach to life? What if we woke up every day striving to learn to live and love wholeheartedly? To forgive, accept, and be kind to ourselves and one another? Every day I try. And I fall short. Especially on days when people make a big deal about leggings. For real. But, I get up and try again the next day. Usually in leggings.

6 comments:

  1. Personally, I think this is less about the demonization of women's clothing than it is about the fucking grotesque sexualization of children that this implies. Just who the fuck is looking at middle school girls like that? Either sick fucking pervert guys or jealous old cunts who never drew one glance from a guy.

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    1. Middle school boys can't concentrate because the girls are in leggings.

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  2. Which I contend is declared by old pervy guys who can't concentrate because they are looking at little girls' butts and nasty shrewish cunts who are jealous that anyone is looking at anyone.

    Although, I do have to check Jinju constantly for see thru-ness because her wardrobe is 98% leggings as well. There is a lot of, "You can't wear those (or more often, "She can't wear those, honey."). I can see your underwear."

    Also, your long hair kicks ass.

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    1. it's all very skeevy.

      thank you; it's so inappropriate :)

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  3. I loved it. I shared it. And I agree. Perverts and envy.

    I just bought four pair of leggings today; they're on major sale at Old Navy.

    Maybe she can wear cute little tunics and short dresses over them?

    Xo

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    1. Thanks, Molly! Yes, she is gonna have to embrace the tunic 😊

      xoxoxo

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