Saturday, January 10, 2015

21 Days: Day 6

One thing I have never mastered is cooking tofu. A few weeks ago at a Thai restaurant in Pittsburgh, a perfect tofu pad Thai dish inspired me to try again. The tofu was amazing. Crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. Mine was the same as always: Mushy. This is irrelevant other than it just happened, and I wondered if any of you had any suggestions about how to cook tofu.

Today, I had a happiness hangover of sorts. So much good in one day was overwhelming. In a good way, but still overwhelming.

1. I woke up next to my husband. That alone makes all the blessings I normally count so much sweeter because none of them would exist if not for the sweet sleeping boy next to me.

2. After I lamented Lily's lack of interest in watching movies with me, her teacher (who is my good friend) assigned her this snow day homework: Snuggle and watch a movie with your mom. She's a good egg, that one. Somebody needs to give those angel teachers a raise. Lily wanted to watch Mean Girls, which has some inappropriate-for-8-year-olds content--that I'd forgotten--but brought up a lot of good talking points because that bullshit starts when girls are teeny-tiny. It also continues until, well, I'll let you know when it stops.

So yesterday, in a tangled web conversation with one of my closest friends, we unwound some strains of hurt and betrayal. Wanting to be loved and accepted are basic human needs not just desires. Unfortunately, through the cuts and bruises and scars we acquire moving through the sometimes thorny forest of life, we end up with some weird insecurities and hang ups. Then, unfortunately, on occasion we foist that crap onto other people we encounter. My really smart and amazingly talented friend Molly wrote about that here. She's a great writer, right? That brings me back to this: We all want to be loved and accepted so let's stop comparing and judging and criticizing and gossiping and trying to feel better about ourselves at the expense of someone else.

Trying to feel better about yourself by pointing out another's flaws or shortcomings won't make you better than anyone else. It won't really make you feel better either. And, it will just show people that you have issues in your own life that you'd rather not deal with. I'm choosing to be kinder. I'm trying to accept people as they are and not as some idealized version of who I think they could be if they'd just deal with their shit. I'm trying. One mindful decision at a time.

3. I'm still crying about yesterday's thank you note. Ugh. I have no idea who to write to today.

Yesterday, I gave in to the siren call of spinach dip and also something called Sex on the Horizon.
 If you could say no to Sex on the Horizon, then you're a better woman than I am. And if it makes you feel better to say that you're better than me, then you might want to read that paragraph above again, 'cause you might have missed the point. It tasted almost as good as it looked, but I paid severely for these transgressions when my stomach launched a full-fledged assault against me at 4 a.m.

Today has been good Daniel-fast wise, except for the tofu fail. Did I mention my husband is home? So despite the fact that 1/5 of our little world is starting her own little world in the City of Bridges, life feels mostly full and happy today.

How are you doing, my friends? What good did you eat? What made your heart smile? Aren't you glad I finally shut up about coffee :)?

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