Monday, April 7, 2014

It's like this and like that and like this and uh*



I recently read Crash the Chatterbox, by Steven Furtick**, about quieting inside (and outside) voices so that you can hear God’s voice. It was a great book and helped me to isolate and silence some pretty destructive voices. And through engaging with my inner voices, I learned another powerful lesson: Whatever purpose we are here to fulfill? We already have everything we need. 

For instance, God gave me an English teacher mother, above average spelling and grammar acumen, a pretty sordid childhood, and a voice with which people can identify because He intended for me to share my story. 

BUT, you knew there was gonna be a but, didn't you? In the process of sharing my story, here is some chatter I have heard in my head and from well-intentioned friends:
You’re writing a book?
There’s nothing really special about your story.
You’re not that good of a writer.
Who would want to read your story?
Only famous people write memoirs.
What’s it gonna be about?
Who’s gonna buy it?
Your daughter is a better writer. Maybe you should have her write your story. (She IS a way better writer, but she has her own story to tell.)
You’re not good enough. You’re not interesting enough. You’re not smart enough. You’re not important enough. You’re not special enough. You’re not skinny enough. You’re not blonde enough. You’ve never been enough and you never will be enough. Those voices are so mean; good grief!

Except a funny thing happened in the midst of that though. The aforementioned book landed in my lap and told me: 

  • You are doing better than you think you are. 
  • You matter more than you think you do. 
  • It's less about you than you think it is.  
  • God says you are enough. 
  • God said He gave you everything you need. 
  • God says you can.
It told me that the voices in my head were just that: Voices. I could tell to shut the @#$% up. If someone tells my kids they can’t do something, I say, “That’s their opinion, and their opinion doesn’t matter. God made you, and God says you can.” So what if the people who should have encouraged  or complimented me or believed in me didn't. God gave me everything I need to do what He intended me to do.

Who cares if other people don’t believe my story is important? I think everyone’s story is important. We can all positively impact someone by sharing our experiences and our heart; isn’t that why we are here? To love God and to love people?

If I share my story, and one person walks away feeling less shame about her own childhood, deciding to make lemonade out of the lemons life handed her, realizing that she already possesses everything she needs to fulfill her highest purpose, then it was worth everything to reach that one person. It was worth every embarrassing story. It was worth every agonizing question I’ve ever asked and will ever answer. It was worth losing every person who will no longer make eye contact with me because they never really saw me anyway.

My sweet friends, what voices do you need to quiet today in order to hear a still small voice that speaks only love?

*Nuthin' But a G Thang (What up, Dre)

** I think Steven Furtick is an extremely gifted pastor, speaker, writer and teacher and couldn't care less about the size of his house or how many people got baptized at Elevation on any given Sunday.

15 comments:

  1. YES! I love that you are going to write your story! I hope I can have a signed copy of it someday : )
    xoxoxo keep spreading love.

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    1. Thank you, sweet girl! You better bet you will <3 Love you and miss you! xoxo

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  2. You "all ready" have it, huh?

    Let me just offer some answers to the voices in your head and the voices of those well-meaning folk:

    You’re writing a book? No, I said it was me, but in reality I'll be using Khaled Hosseini as a ghost writer.

    There’s nothing really special about your story. *hysterical laughter* *pause* *more hysterical laughter*

    You’re not that good of a writer. And you look like the piss boy. Go fuck y'self.

    Who would want to read your story? Who wouldn't, bitch, I am fucking fabulous!

    Only famous people write memoirs. I remember hearing that somewhere before.

    What’s it gonna be about? Yo' mama.

    Who’s gonna buy it? People who buy books. And hookers. And maybe crack dealers.

    Your daughter is a better writer. Maybe you should have her write your story. Like she has any time for my memoir. She's too busy making her own memories.

    I could go on and on and on. But yeah, the proper response to all the voices is, "Go fuck y'self."

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  3. Love reading your blogs, and miss you terribly. God keeps showing me that book. And my thoughts were, "I already know that." But obviously, there's something in that book I don't all ready know! Thank you for your obedience to God in writing this blog. I'll let you know later what I find out : )

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    1. Thanks, Dannette! I miss you, my friend <3 I just let Pastor John borrow it, but when he's done, you are welcome to it. Hope to see you soon!

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  4. Love reading your blogs, and miss you terribly. God keeps showing me that book. And my thoughts were, "I already know that." But obviously, there's something in that book I don't all ready know! Thank you for your obedience to God in writing this blog. I'll let you know later what I find out : )

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  5. This is amazing—you & Clo consistently inspire me! Also, thanks for your sweet words on my last post :)

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    1. Thank you so much, sweet Sara! I hope you had an amazing birthday <3 xoxo

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  6. Mary, my first thought was heck yeah you're writing your story, even if it is only read by your children. As mothers we are called to be the keeper of memories and in committing your story to paper you will be giving Chloe, Peyton and Lily a priceless treasure. Go girl go!

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    1. Thank you so much, Mary! I appreciate your encouragement more than you'll ever know as I have always admired you very much.

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  7. I would wait in line to buy your book...

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    1. You are a gem. I can't wait to hand you a copy <3

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  8. After reading your latest blog entry I became obsessed with reading all of them this morning. You are a wonderfully gifted writer and I look forward to reading your book one day. I can honestly say this particular entry touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Keep on believing. Keep on writing. And most of all keep listening to that voice inside you directing you where to go because it is by the grace of God that you hear it.

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    1. Thank you, Liz :) I really appreciate your kind words, and I'm so touched that you connected with this piece.

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